Wishing,n Hoping.

i wish,

i can walk my path alone,
i can speak to no one but myself,
i can care less about anything but myself.

but to do them all,

i would b a loner…
a loner who failed miserably…

so,

i have mustered evrything to God, to people who put their trust in me,who believe in me…
that i can believe my own self.

i wish,

i can say goodbye to old me,
who was perhaps too greedy,
the seven deadly sins of me,
i wish i can get rid of them all.

but will i become me again?
to be able to see,

the new path,
the baby leaves,
the shattered glass..

perhaps,

‘it’ will shatter my heart,
but im going to treat ‘it’ as a medicine;
‘it’ will give myself a bitter, awful taste,
but ‘it’ will heal me.
im still hoping,
im still wishing,

perhaps…
it was me who was indeed..wrong in evrything.

and so,

im too scared to allow myself to smile freely,
just like a butterfly,scared to spread the beautiful wings.

but,

when the time comes,
i will spread my own wings,
to not letting anything to clip my wings anymore.

by that,

i hope i can muster my own courage,
to accept myself now,and to heal "me" again.

.chaiyok2.

a special momento, to freed myself.