do i really have to care?

i got a realy bad result for my Gen’s class.u know,the first test.yurp. dun even think about telling me "eleh, poyo je ntah2 ok thingy" or "xpe,yaya bole buat..tgk dh ade dekt sane dh pun." so b4 ur telling me that, then ur not even a real friend to me!! u didnt listen to anything that i have said or either u just didnt care or worse,u cant keep up with the real situation that i am into!

it realy sucks. told ya i would b discouraged. n look what happen to me. i didnt do anything,i ddint go to my Ia lab class simply bcoz i dont want to.though i can make it up on friday but it really showed the bad attitude that im ahving now. i had a huge feud(since we’re not fighting basically) with my Calc ’s Ta who couldnt explain in easier way but instead in the putar belit ways with korean slangs n God knows  it just worst. i never had a feud with any teacher,I’ll respect them but since i went here there was once my orgo prof. (sharma) n now the TA. with sharma i just rebelled..doing my whatever thingy n got a good result (at least to me) n she was kinda mad since i just rebelled in a silent way,didnt go to class, didnt ask for her help, n though i always broke the reagent that we used in lab. but with this Ta, i was mad becoz he cant explain n always used a different method than the Prof. and didnt want to approve my resolve to use prof’s way. i mean,why didnt he follow prof’s way anyway??????

my IA lab, to be honest i still need to rewrite (yes,not just editing it) the final lab report. i know i have to do it. i just dont want to. i hate the Ia lab, n i was so depressed. yesterday i talked with the doctor that the Stevenians have provided. seriously what went wrong in this life? i studied Gen but manged to get really bad result. what with the time limit anyways? n then i went to talk with the prof a.k.a my prof for my advanced physiology+ my advisor n she suggested that i didnt understand the notes. to be honest, yes im not for the first time in her class. i mean, i took her class for human physiology last spring n the notes were really good (well, i’d been a good student in paying attention to class n jote down evrything that she explained) but now, the class is just complicated. so nyway, she looked a t the notes n i proved it to her most of the time the questions or explanations that she gave was incomplete!!! yes,at least i was right for this part. i tried to look at the text book for 210 pages but mostly she made the prob herself so…lalalalalala. hahah im such a mean gurl.

later, we talked mostly about my study plan (yes,i just made my official study plan today.i dont even know that we have to have one). n then, she became my advisor (which was also appointed about 3hrs ago). then, i told her that i wanna drop from the Gen’s class.

it;s not that i don want to bounce back from the bad result and score for everything…but we had 3 exams, 1 final exam, 25%lab, and only 10% for all quizzes, hworks n attndnce….. the time isn’t right for me. IA lab is taking too much of my time n work n efficiency n every life that i have had for the past 20yrs. as a result, ive focused too much on 1 class n neglected the others.n i cant do it anymore. nisa told me that i was really busy bcoz the dance practice which is true. but i enjoy the dance though some people are freakish…..n by the time Malaysian night is finished im on my way to have third exam for Gen n it would b too late by that time to pull it off.seriously i tried to do my hwork from friday night but still wont b able to study just a bit or even finished my IA lab on Monday night. that’s y im so depressed. i just dont know what other time that i should put off to have my hwork in check and my progression in every subject is good too!!but i didn’t…

u may think that im full with reasons. i wish i was just making it but truly im not. people think that i have all the fun in the world which im not. some people in my ym thingy always complaining me by saying that all my status would b either hwork or quiz or IA lab or exams.which all of them are true!!!try to b in my place,then u know. do u think that i want to live my life that way?

all in all, i betcha revising my classes for the next 3 sems to make sure whether i can drop my gn’s class or not. then i really need to work my ass off for the IA lab. i just felt light headed when i know i have the option for dropping the class hahahah i know i know im being vain. but i cant continue doing the same thing with bad result. we dun hav trials for life.thats y life sometimes sucks. its our option to make life as colorful n vibrant…

x0×0,
5:46pm

Shoot.the first test for Fall 07

10:40 am,

an hour test with 10 subjectives questions with multiple subquestions in all 10 questions were freaking hard n nk tercekik plus tsk tsk of y-the-prof-just give-us 60-freaking-minutes-to do all 10 questions thingy….. argh,seriously, bnyk lawa beri 6minutes for evry question.eh come on lah we even need to do tons of calculations,test crosses,explanations to all above, pedigree analysis, visual experiments..(no kidding guys). and they were all wrapping up in 60 mins.with the internal battle of nervous pus thinking for the right answers plus anxieties..argh its such a bad start for my fall semester. to be honest, i can get easily discouraged when my first test for that particular subject, let alone the first test for a semester is getting a huge blow up. shootlaaah, pls opt some questions, prof. i was really hoping that the other peeps didnt manage to finish it *crossing my little fingers*.

i still didnt finish the IA lab yet. for unit 2 i still need to review the calculations n answers to prelab questions but i didnt do a thing for my unit 6 experiment which will b conducted today. thats y im skipping classes. so, 2 experiments basically down n 1 more to go!!!!!!

Bismillahi tawakkal to A’lallah…..

10:48 am.

Been a Good Girl in my definition, but still not enough

Its 11:27pm Monday,

Since last Friday up to this particular time, day n moment, I’ve been a realy good girl. At least, to my own definition. seriously, my life has never been too self disciplined unless when i knew that i couldnt sleep really well since all i can think of is my hwork.

So this is briefly a summary of what i did for the past 2days incl. today:

Last Friday: malam sabtu tu believe me i was doing my cal 3 hwork #2 up till subuh since i was sleeping from 12ish am to 4am. so, i tried to repent my previous sleeping behavior. no kidding dude,its still friday for me. who did their homework on friday? well, i guess people who r taking premed n in stevens do!!!!!

Saturday: about noon i studied my IA textbook n rechecking my Cal3. Pray, then i studied genetics textbook + my notes for 2-ish hrs. The next situation was where the big problem lies. we should have a dance practice at 3pm,but these people were not punctual n more than an hour late. Tolongla kan if dh nk wat tolongla be punctual n komited. i mean 10 mins would b fashionably late but 1-ish hrs would b too much!!!! Plus,the performance is less than a week, and the dance steps are realy hard. There was also a person who didnt respect my decision not to have a practice on both tuesday n thursday, eh plslah ingt sengaja2 je ke xnk pergi when my klas mmng habis pkul  or 6-ishpm n start from 9 am.not to mention having labs on both days really taking the tolls on me. dri dtg afterwards n then not ready+ exhausted+not komited then y should i come? if u guys want to practice then be my guess. pleaselah respect my decision since i respect urs. there’s no sensibility in it. dhlah ade kuiz n hwork berlmbk2..eiiiii,ni lgi teruk dri my IA prof.At least i have had a decency to try to come to the practice n be committed since ive assumed that im a little behind than others. and not 1ish hrs late. ini tak?? i guess they hav other reasons but its saturday n the performance is less than a week plus the steps are realy hard (im repeating it!). so anyway ive decided to drop from the dance n practicing for AF. the step is much easier,the performance is more than a month away, n more importantly: mun yee the choreographer is COMMITTED plus plus plus nizam is in there too (hahha syg ur realy cute while dancing.hippo can eh )!!!so no dance practice for me. afterwards, we hav MSD coming here incl. JPAs. the foods were a double trouble for me. (Msd officials r rely cool n nice people :)) plus, nisa,ain,latifah, sue n i realy had a great time laughing n making jokes…. thats the most bestest relaxing night since ive started my class this fall.

Sunday Morning: Tidying up my room, cleaning up the places, then read IA more, then do the first homewrk for IA which is freakin’ hard. then try to do both unit 2 and unit 3 experiments for IA but has failed terribly. Noon: Read my Gen notes for exam on tuesday but need to reread again n again plus exercises plus discussions’ parts form ch1-ch5 since im practically skipping it (yup,we’re the earliest one to have exam this fall,unbelievable…n its 150ish pages too). then cook, then pray n dance practice for Af for the first time about 3hrs. lastly,comparing my answers for both cal 3 n IA with na young.

Monday: Classes from 9am till 4pm (seriously). i had a first softball practice at 2:30pm. n to my dismay, im the only gurl whos taking it. yup,u can imagine my face at that time. argh,its such an awkward n embarrassing moment with huge american guys looking at me while im trying so hard to appear unconcern when the moment in truth was that i’d never played it b4. however,it turned out to be realy nice n argh,my team esp. coach had been realy nice to me. i even hit the ball n managed to complete at least 3 rounds (but its not a homerun) n hop the ball(yeay.. do u know how big the hand glove really is??) when my turn came up,they were all busied trying to teach me more tactics n cheered me up!!! hehe,its realy nice. My tension had been quickly dissipated at that time. afterwards, i took a bit relaxing attitude n taking a nap.well, softball for 1 n half hours coulb b realy tiresome,esp when its all a boys’ league. so after mkn2 for iftar, i started to read from ch1-3 Gen n did some questions n took shower.

As in now, precisely at 12 midnight, i was trying to do my 3 experiments for IA to submit it tomorrow,i dun know when i’ll b able to finish it. *staring hopefully at the lappie to do my labs on its own* not just that, i didnt pray for both isyak n terawihs yet n i still need to reread gens ch3-5.argh,my exam is at 9am (urghhhhhh….) n my lab for 4 hrs is at 2 with merely an hour break in between. argh….im soooooooooooooo…cannot describe my feelings.. that i started to write the blogs so that i can cool myself down n be able to share my torrid feelings with u. bcoz i know ive been a good girl (ok its a bit perasan thingy but i need it so just ignore my vanity will u?) but it still wasnt enough.obviously i need to live in Pluto to match the Earth’s time. Can i?

This is a realy long blog,well..if u guys also have the same experience please dont hesitate to share okay. we r, as for the new term, a maddeningly stud blogger (can ah use this particular nickname hahahaha).

Toodles

12:05am

I guess…

   I guess my IA class sucks…but my IA lab is the worst sucker of all. not only that its 4hrs lab, but its also a very tiresome-u -need-know-all thing-in details, i mean,not just things, but ALL THINGS…….. urghhh..i hate it. even writing it would cause me more headaches n pimples on my face. tch tch tch (rubbing my face vigorously while one eyebrow is stuck between nose)..i guess i’ll get a C for this class n lab.

  I guess im a sucker too.my prelab reports for IA…yurp i handed the wrong one,twice for 2 weeks in a row!!sigh,do u guys know how hard it is to make an IA report. I usually required at least a day (if i can stiffly put my hands,minds and body altogether to face my lappie for the whole day without cooking, showering, practicing, other homeworks, classes, praying, blah blah blah).

 I guess Its not entirely my fault since the TAs gave me the wrong information in what we r supposed to do (each person gets a different unit hence different experiments for a day (notice the s in experimentS). What becomes a part of my mistake was that i ddnt check it first through the current IA lab syllabus update (in which both obnoxious $#&%*!^$%& TAs just put in less than 1day n a half before my actual lab).

 I guess i really hate my class,i realy do!!if u want me to indulge more n explain it i will..happily. just ym me n ill call u. n u will know how my real feeling is. few people: Nizam,Nisa,Abom,Taufiq n irwan have expressed the same feelings after they heard what i said. u know, "Thank God expression" that kind of thingy. Well, how am i supposed to bear it with for anthr 3-ish months and anthr sem???Tell me. My life definitely sucks. Well, pathetic too.No thanks to Instrumental Analysis class n lab.

    There’s No guessing to what my final conclusion is: I HATE INSTUMENTAL ANALYSIS CLASS N LAB!!!